Embrace Your Baldness
It's taken me a while to get used to being bald. I was really self-conscious at the beginning, but about a month ago I freed myself from anxiety during a yoga class. I always wear a hat -- even at home -- primarily because my head gets cold. As mentioned earlier, I even sleep with a ski cap on. But sometimes when I get a hot flash, I have to remove the hat as my head begins to sweat.
Well, I wear a baseball cap when I work out. I started taking yoga at the beginning of the year and one day during class my cap fell off while lying down. My head was sweating at that point, so I just left the cap off. When we sat up, I left the cap on the ground. I looked around and realized that everyone was continuing their yoga and could care less about my bald head. At that point, I just let go of my self-consciousness. "Embrace your baldness, Jean!!"
One day, though, I was walking out of the shower at the gym and as I past a woman, her head whipped around and she had a shocked look on her face. I'm sure she was thinking "there's a bald guy in the women's locker room!!" She got over it.
Check up with my oncologist
I had my regular check up yesterday and everything is going well. All of my lab tests are good but my hemaglobin has been decreasing with each chemo session, so my oncologist put me on weekly shots of Procrit. It's typical procedure.
He said I'm doing well and that I "look good on paper". Yeah, except for that small cancer thing, I'm healthy.... ;-)
Academy Awards
My favorite night of TV was Sunday. Although the show was really long, I thought it was a pretty good show. They needed more time for Ellen Degeneres to do her thing and less time on the minor award categories. Do we really need to see the winner for Best Animated Short Filmed on a Tuesday from a Foreign Country with Less than 1 Million People? Snore.... Get to the good stuff.
I loved Forest Whitaker's acceptance speech and am glad that Martin Scorese has finally won an Oscar. I saw all of the Best Picture nominees and agree that The Departed was the best. Apparently the movie studio is trying to put together a sequel to The Departed, but Mark Wahlberg and Alec Baldwin are the only characters left alive at the end of the movie. The sequel could be a very short film.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Chemo Cycle 5
My last 4 chemo treatments are with a different drug -- Taxol. I had my first treatment on 2/14 and it was a challenging day. Taxol is administered through an IV that takes 3 hours, plus a 1-hour prep time.
I had a reaction to the Benadryl for the first time -- tightness in my chest and rapid heart beat. So the nurse gave me Adavant to decrease my anxiety and it completely wiped me out. I fell asleep and when it was time to go home, I was really wobbly. Thank goodness my dear friend, Annette, had driven me to the treatment as I wouldn't have been able to drive home.
When I got home, Annette helped warm up some lunch for me and then I fell asleep. That evening my phone rang and I had been sleeping so soundly, I was completely disoriented as it was dark outside. I had some dinner -- thanks to Charlene -- and then went to bed.
Although I wasn't as nauseous from the Taxol as I had been with the first 2 drugs, I did have muscle and joint pain for about 4 days. The pain was primarily in my lower body -- hips, legs, knees, ankles and feet. Another possible side effect is neuropathy (numbness in feet and hands). While my feet didn't feel numb, they definitely were sore. I've been sore in my joints from exercising, but never in my feet. It was a strange feeling. I have a check-up with my oncologist next week and will ask if my reaction was neuropathy or just joint pain.
So between the joint pain and the overall crappy feeling from the chemo, I once again, spent quality time on my couch for a week. I'm feeling better today but am having problems sleeping at night -- which is par for the course. I usually don't sleep through the night until Week 3. Thank goodness for Unisom.
I had a reaction to the Benadryl for the first time -- tightness in my chest and rapid heart beat. So the nurse gave me Adavant to decrease my anxiety and it completely wiped me out. I fell asleep and when it was time to go home, I was really wobbly. Thank goodness my dear friend, Annette, had driven me to the treatment as I wouldn't have been able to drive home.
When I got home, Annette helped warm up some lunch for me and then I fell asleep. That evening my phone rang and I had been sleeping so soundly, I was completely disoriented as it was dark outside. I had some dinner -- thanks to Charlene -- and then went to bed.
Although I wasn't as nauseous from the Taxol as I had been with the first 2 drugs, I did have muscle and joint pain for about 4 days. The pain was primarily in my lower body -- hips, legs, knees, ankles and feet. Another possible side effect is neuropathy (numbness in feet and hands). While my feet didn't feel numb, they definitely were sore. I've been sore in my joints from exercising, but never in my feet. It was a strange feeling. I have a check-up with my oncologist next week and will ask if my reaction was neuropathy or just joint pain.
So between the joint pain and the overall crappy feeling from the chemo, I once again, spent quality time on my couch for a week. I'm feeling better today but am having problems sleeping at night -- which is par for the course. I usually don't sleep through the night until Week 3. Thank goodness for Unisom.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Journey to Wellness Mid-Point
I've completed half of my chemo protocol!!! Whoopee!! 4 down, 4 to go.
Treatments #5-8 are with a different drug -- Taxol. Yesterday my oncologist indicated that Taxol is usually easier to handle than the first 2 drugs I took. I shouldn't feel as nauseous but there are 2 possible side effects -- muscle/joint pain and neuropathy (numbness in hands and feet). Not everyone is affected with these side effects. If neuropathy occurs, it usually is not until the 4th treatment. The numbness could eventually go away, but it could take years! That's not very good news, but I'm keeping a positive outlook and hoping for the best.
Medical Care
If you read my list posting, you might have seen the comment posted by Laura, one of my chemo nurses. She and all of the staff in my oncologist's office are great. They're incredibly supporting and caring and make my journey much easier and more pleasant. When my friend, Tulin, came with me to chemo, she was impressed by the caring and friendly attitude of the staff and said "you're lucky to be getting such loving care." I couldn't agree more!!
In nurse Laura's comment she says that I'm "kicking cancer's butt" which made me laugh. But it also made me realize that I'm viewing my situation as enduring chemo vs. fighting cancer. Maybe I'm in total denial, but in my mind my cancer is gone. My lumpectomy was successful -- got all of the tumor, the area around the tumor was clear as were my lymph nodes. Chemo is an insurance policy that's killing any microscopic cancer cells looming in my body.
Rewarding Myself -- True Confessions
During my journey, I started rewarding myself in odd ways.
McDonald's French Fries -- I've never been a big fast food addict but enjoyed McDonald's fish sandwich and French Frieds occasionally. I really love their fries. They're the closest thing to a perfect food. I hadn't been to any fast food restaurants since I started Weight Watchers over 2 years ago. But after my lumpectomy, I splurged and bought a order of large fries at the drive through window. I couldn't wait to eat them at home, so I parked in the lot and sat there and ate them -- with ketchup of course. They were great!! After 2 years of no McDonald's fries -- they didn't disappoint.
Clean sheets 2 times/week -- When I began chemo, I started having a hard time sleeping at night. Prior to chemo, I would sleep through the night without ever getting up. But now I wake up 2-3 times a night and often can't get back to sleep for 3-4 hours. Since I'm not working, I can sleep in so I eventually get 7-8 hours of sleep -- just not in a solid block. I love sleeping in clean sheets and if it wasn't an environmental "no, no", I would wash my sheets every day. I usually do my wash once a week, but since chemo I reward myself by washing sheets twice a week. I feel bad about it, but rationalize it as a temporary situation and will go back to weekly washings after my chemo is done.
Banana split -- My potassium levels were low yesterday, so my oncologist told me to eat more bananas. That's easy. But rather than just eat a banana, I bought a Baskin Robbin's Banana Royale which is 2 scoops of ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream, walnuts, cherry ... and a banana. Why not? I deserved it as my check-up went well. ;-)
That's it for this week. Take care everyone. I love hearing from you.
Jean
Treatments #5-8 are with a different drug -- Taxol. Yesterday my oncologist indicated that Taxol is usually easier to handle than the first 2 drugs I took. I shouldn't feel as nauseous but there are 2 possible side effects -- muscle/joint pain and neuropathy (numbness in hands and feet). Not everyone is affected with these side effects. If neuropathy occurs, it usually is not until the 4th treatment. The numbness could eventually go away, but it could take years! That's not very good news, but I'm keeping a positive outlook and hoping for the best.
Medical Care
If you read my list posting, you might have seen the comment posted by Laura, one of my chemo nurses. She and all of the staff in my oncologist's office are great. They're incredibly supporting and caring and make my journey much easier and more pleasant. When my friend, Tulin, came with me to chemo, she was impressed by the caring and friendly attitude of the staff and said "you're lucky to be getting such loving care." I couldn't agree more!!
In nurse Laura's comment she says that I'm "kicking cancer's butt" which made me laugh. But it also made me realize that I'm viewing my situation as enduring chemo vs. fighting cancer. Maybe I'm in total denial, but in my mind my cancer is gone. My lumpectomy was successful -- got all of the tumor, the area around the tumor was clear as were my lymph nodes. Chemo is an insurance policy that's killing any microscopic cancer cells looming in my body.
Rewarding Myself -- True Confessions
During my journey, I started rewarding myself in odd ways.
McDonald's French Fries -- I've never been a big fast food addict but enjoyed McDonald's fish sandwich and French Frieds occasionally. I really love their fries. They're the closest thing to a perfect food. I hadn't been to any fast food restaurants since I started Weight Watchers over 2 years ago. But after my lumpectomy, I splurged and bought a order of large fries at the drive through window. I couldn't wait to eat them at home, so I parked in the lot and sat there and ate them -- with ketchup of course. They were great!! After 2 years of no McDonald's fries -- they didn't disappoint.
Clean sheets 2 times/week -- When I began chemo, I started having a hard time sleeping at night. Prior to chemo, I would sleep through the night without ever getting up. But now I wake up 2-3 times a night and often can't get back to sleep for 3-4 hours. Since I'm not working, I can sleep in so I eventually get 7-8 hours of sleep -- just not in a solid block. I love sleeping in clean sheets and if it wasn't an environmental "no, no", I would wash my sheets every day. I usually do my wash once a week, but since chemo I reward myself by washing sheets twice a week. I feel bad about it, but rationalize it as a temporary situation and will go back to weekly washings after my chemo is done.
Banana split -- My potassium levels were low yesterday, so my oncologist told me to eat more bananas. That's easy. But rather than just eat a banana, I bought a Baskin Robbin's Banana Royale which is 2 scoops of ice cream, hot fudge, whipped cream, walnuts, cherry ... and a banana. Why not? I deserved it as my check-up went well. ;-)
That's it for this week. Take care everyone. I love hearing from you.
Jean
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