Health update -- I saw my oncologist on Thursday and apparently I didn't have the flu last week as my white count was normal. He said it was probably just a virus. He can't predict if I'd get it again, but said to call him if I ever get a fever again. Whatever... Either way, I'm fine now. This begins my "good" week, so the plan is to see lots of people, go to the gym and catch a few movies.

What you learn when you stay at home -- Although I've only been off work for almost 1 month, there are a few things that I've learned:

Days of the week are irrelevant -- With the exception of my doctor and chemo appointments, it really doesn't matter what day of the week it is. If the Wall Street Journal isn't delivered to my doorstep, then it must be Sunday. While this all might sound desirable, it really isn't. I feel unproductive -- even though there are tons of projects around the house. I'm so tired on Week 1 and part of Week 2, I don't do much. Then on Week 3, I feel so much better, the last thing I want to do is stick around the house.

Mail delivery time is random -- My mailman must like variety in his delivery route as my mail arrives anywhere from 9:00am to 5:00pm. I'm sure if I had to deliver the mail everyday, I'd try to spice up the day with variety as well.

Daytime TV is crap -- First of all, this statement does not reference the daily soap operas. Although I no longer view the soaps, during college I was addicted to "Ryan's Hope", "All My Children", and "General Hospital". In those days, the soaps were only 30-minutes long, so the cast lists were smaller. Most of the people I saw on the soaps must be either dead or grandparents by now.

No, the crap on TV I'm talking about is the confrontational talk and judge shows (grammatical should say "judicial" shows, but that would give them too much credit). The topics and guests usually revolve around the paternity of a child.

Here's a typical show:

Host/Judge: "We're here to determine the paternity of Female Guest 1's (FG1) 4-year old son. Please tell us your story."

FG1: "Four years ago I was close with Male Guest 1 (MG1) and I know that he be the father of my child. He needs to start taking care of his family and payin' some money." [FG1 is an overweight, gap-toothed women who wears shirts and skirts that are 4 sizes too small for her. She dons purple and gold eye shadow to match her purple finger nails. She's a Glamour Magazine "don't" in every category imaginable.]

MG1: "I know that FG1 was [bleeping] with 3 other guys when we was together and I know he aint my kid 'cuz he don't even look like me." [MG1 isn't any prize either. He's usually missing a few front teeth and wears ripped jeans with his butt hanging out.]

FG1: "How can you say such a [bleeping] thing? I know he's your baby 'cuz in my heart I love you and we should be a family."

MG1: "He aint my kid, whore!! Them 2 other guys said that they was [bleeping] you at the same time we was livin' together. He aint my kid!!"

FG1: "No, I wasn't!! They be lying [bleepers]!!!" [FG1 stands up and jabs her finger in MG1's chest, yelling and screaming at him. He pushes her away and she slaps him.]

MG1: "Why would they lie, bitch?"

Host/Judge: "We can solve this issue as I have the results of the paternity test and it shows that MG1 is NOT the father of the child."

At this point, all hell breaks out. FG1 starts to cry, scream and falls to her knees, pounding the stage with her first. MG1 struts around the stage, raising his arms in victory. The audience is screaming and cheering.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??? And why are they allowed to vote and procreate???? If there's a question regarding the paternity of your child, why would you go on national TV to find out the results? As my mother would say, "why can't they just leave their personal problems at home?"

My friend, Monika, who lives in Germany has said that these types of shows are now getting popular in her country. Great!! It's not bad enough that we export the questionable talents of Paris Hilton and Britany Spears to the world, now we're infecting their television programming with garbage. No wonder the world hates us.

That's my ranting for today.